Why Must We Argue?
by invisible-nobody15
Summary: Shikamaru and Temari have been dating for almost a year. When words are said and actions are taken that split the two apart, how will they make it back together? Will they even have a happy ending?


**I've been really inactive. *insert nervous laugh here*. I have a lot going on with the school year starting and trying to get the hours set for my job, as well as work something out with my principal. I'm also working on something original; my first non-fanfiction story! I hope this thing I typed up this week is enough to hold some people over until the next chapter of The Original DigiDestined.**

 **This _has not_ been proof-read, so sorry for any mistakes!**

 **Note: _The sections in all italics are direct passages from Shikamaru's Hiden._**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Temari was not an affectionate person. She never considered herself one, and never saw herself becoming one. She had rarely ever hugged her parents in public, even when she was a little kid. Her and her boyfriend almost never held hands, even when they were out of the public eye. The only exception to the rule was her brothers. Every once and again they'd get themselves some big hug or messing up of their hair. She loved them, and wanted to make sure that they knew that.

She had come very close to losing Konkuro, and had already lost Gaara once.

She was currently visiting the Hidden Leaf. After practically (and as subtly as she could) begging Gaara for a mission in Konoha, she got one for no other reason than the unspoken joke that she only wanted to see her boyfriend. All of the higher-ups of both Suna and Konoha were aware that they were dating, even though they hadn't made their relationship public officially. Pretty much everyone else in the Hidden Leaf at lease _assumed_ something was up.

It was obvious, as much as she hated to admit it. But she tried not to think about that as they walked down the street side-by-side. There was no hand holding, no hugging, no public displays of affection of any kind. That was how the relationship worked, and both were okay with it. Walking in a comfortable silence down the street was one of their favorite things to do together.

They were heading out to find something to eat. They had both been working hard on paperwork for hours and it was around lunchtime, so they decided to grab a bite to each. Yes, it was suspicious. Yes, they both knew that. But they were both past the point of caring what everyone else around them thought about their not-so-awkward crush on each other. It wasn't always like that, especially for Temari.

 _She was truly grateful to Naruto, and she thought warmly of his birthplace of Konohagakure. The people of that village were extremely proud as Shinobi; most were unshakable._

 _Abruptly,_ his _face jumped to life in the back of her mind. Clicking her tongue lightly, Temari felt a stinging pain deep in her chest._

 _"_ _What's the matter, sister?"_

 _"_ _Oh, uh." Temari stood next to Gaara. In his worried eyes shone a clear light. His earnestness – a younger brother caring for his big sister – was almost painful to her. Before she knew it, Temari was adverting her eyes._

 _Sunagakure was always dry. It was in the middle of the desert; it never rained. The sharp wind carried more than a few strands of sand._

 _"_ _I just got some sand in my eye."_

 _"_ _That's strange. Not like you at all."_

 _"_ _I-I guess so."_

 _`Those born in Sunagakure were accustomed to dealing with sand and wind. Sand did not hit them in the eye. Getting sand in her eye was just an excuse._

 _"_ _Shikamaru…"_ His _name suddenly came from Gaara's mouth, and Temari couldn't stop herself from stiffening up in surprise. Rather than questioning why the name would make his sister freeze up so dramatically, Gaara continued matter-of-factly: "He's been weird lately. Whenever I see him at the alliance headquarters, I get the feeling that his heart isn't in it. Maybe he's been working a little too hard."_

 _"_ _So you think so too."_

 _Gaara nodded. "I couldn't view people in a favorable light until a few years, but now I feel like it's the opposite. I'm deeply concerned about everyone's well-being. I think I'm probably extra sensitive to the workings of other people's minds."_

 _Her little brother had always been serious at heart. If he believed in something, he followed through mind, body, and soul. Once he decided to open his heart, he did so unreservedly, with the utmost thoroughness. So it was no surprise that he would have noticed minuscule changes in Shikamaru._

 _"_ _He's hiding something."_

 _"_ _Mm-hmm." Temari agreed._

 _"_ _He thinks more seriously than anyone else about the alliance and the future of ninja. I don't think he'd do anything to hurt the alliance."_

 _Gaara was talking about the fact that all the hidden villages in the alliance had an obligation to report any national or international matters or problems that might have an effect on the entire organization. Temari also saw that Shikamaru was with-holding some not-insignificant matter happening within Konohagakure, something even a man like him was unable to hide completely. She thought it likely that whatever it was, it was going to end up being a problem for all ninja._

 _"_ _Can you think of anything it might be?"_

 _Temari was the one within the alliance who worked with Shikamaru the most, which was why her brother was asking her. "It's not that I can't, but…I can't be sure."_

 _Still silent, Gaara nodded._

 _"_ _He's been fairly seriously investigating the missing shinobi and rogue ninja from the Great War."_

 _Gaara shifted his gaze from Temari to look out at the village once more. A crease formed between his eyebrows. He was thinking._

 _Suddenly, the wind got stronger. The sand hitting her face hurt._

 _"_ _Maybe I'll ask Naruto," Gaara muttered. "Will you go for me, sister?"_

 _"_ _Sure." Temari was surprised at how bright her voice sounded._

 _"_ _I could ask Kakashi directly, but he'd no doubt give me the runaround," Gaara continued. "So we'll ask Naruto about Shikamaru first. If it turns out he's facing some unusual or difficult situation, we have to do anything in our power to help. They can use as many of the shinobi of Sunagakure as they need."_

 _"_ _Shikamaru is a Konoha ninja, right?"_

 _"_ _The era of drawing lines between Suna and Konoha is over. We need him in the alliance. It's only natural that we help him."_

 _"_ _Thanks."_

 _"_ _There's nothing for you to thank me for, sis."_

 _Temari bowed her head, and tears fell from her eyes. She raised her head again and smiled at Gaara as she wiped them away._

 _"_ _The sand is really getting in your eyes today, hm?"_

She wouldn't admit to anyone that she likes Shikamaru. She had only recently admitted it to herself at the time, so even her baby brother wasn't allowed a voluntary peek inside that part of her heart yet. But he had seen right through her just like his sassy ass self always seems to. But she had tried her damnedest not to show her crush on Shikamaru. And from what she overheard from Ino, it was the same way with Shikamaru about Temari.

There were all kinds of fanciful stories that Ino and Sakura had shared with her during the couple of times she's tried bonding with them. He, apparently, was much better at hiding it than she was. It was partially due to the fact that half of his downtime was spent sleeping, and partially due to him not having anyone like Gaara near his psyche.

But even he would have his feelings given away by a side-comment that was a bit too suspicious, or a slight blush when he looked at her sometimes (that Ino swears up and down that he did, but Temari has never seen him do), a lingering gaze at her that lingered a bit too long, and the ever-increasing amount of time they spent together. He wasn't a cemented-closed shell after all (that title belongs to Uchiha Sasuke from what she hears). Subtly at its best.

But now they've given up on subtly because, hell, he asked her out.

 _"_ _Mm-hmm." Releasing Shikamaru's hand, Gaara turned and looked at his companions. "We're going home."_

 _"_ _Ooh-rah!" The ninja of Sunagakure raised their voices like a secret battle cry._

 _Shikamaru called out to Temari as she was turning away, so unconsciously it surprised even him._

 _Temari stopped where she was. The other Sunagakure ninja moved to stop as well, but once they saw Gaara was signaling them to keep going, they began racing along the main street that stretched out from the gates. Tossing a look in Shikamaru's direction, Gaara followed after them._

 _Leaving only Temari._

 _"_ _Eee!" Shikamaru heard a high-pitched voice behind him. It was Soku._

 _Ignoring her, Shikamaru approached Temari._

 _"_ _What?" Temari asked, with a sour look. Her eyes were terrifying. After taking a deep breath, as if to bolster his spirits now that he was losing his nerve, Shikamaru tried to say what he was thinking. "All this…"_

 _It was no use. He couldn't say it._

 _"_ _What?" Temari pressed, annoyed. Her body was still turned the slightest bit toward the main road behind her, as if she were trying to chase after her little brother._

 _"_ _Thanks for all this."_

 _"_ _Hmph!" Temari laughed through her nose, but Shikamaru continued, undaunted._

 _"_ _How about we have dinner or something sometime?"_

 _"_ _What? Are you asking me out on a date?" Temari asked, tone casual but eyes deadly serious. She didn't have a molecule of shame; she was completely unendearing._

(Though, on the inside, her stomach was doing flips and she had to use all her willpower to restrain from pouncing into a hug as soon as the words had escaped his lazy lips.)

Why am I asking a woman like this out to dinner? _Shikamaru asked himself._

 _"_ _Yeah, I guess that's the gist of it." he said, without thinking._

 _But he had asked, and that was that. Or rather, he had called out to stop her because he wanted to ask her. Feelings he himself didn't understand threw Shikamaru into confusion._

 _"_ _A date, huh…?"_

 _Almost as if she were sitting on a war council before a problematic enemy, Temari put a hand on her chin and gave the matter serious consideration._

 _"_ _You don't want to?" he asked, abruptly._

 _She stared fixedly at his face for a while before taking her hand off her chin and placing it on her hip. "What a draaaag." She said._

 _The full smile she turned on him then was something very precious to Shikamaru._

(She didn't know that part, however.)

And they went on that date later that week. According to Gaara (who had heard from Kakashi), Shikamaru – Konoha's resident workaholic – turned down a mission to be able to make it to the date. In a weird way, Temari was flattered. It had surprised her that the younger boy _did_ know how to prioritize; something that she had previously thought the teenager was incapable of doing.

Today, they both sat down in a booth at a nice restaurant. It wasn't anything super fancy, but just enough above fast food to be able to count it as a date in their books. They ordered what they wanted from the nice waitress with the large brown beehive hair. Temari would place her in her mid-forties. Once she walked away, Temari looked back across the booth at her boyfriend.

They sat on opposite sides of the booth to make them seem as inconspicuous as possible. Whether it worked or not, they had no way to know. Temari always thought that keeping her distance from others like that made her more comfortable. It was how she had brought herself up – just as strong-willed and stone-faced as the boys. It had impressed their father, so she continued that way of life after his tragic death.

But recently, it's begun to bug her more and more. She felt a strange… _urge_ to sit next to Shikamaru. Be as close to him as she could be. Have their arms touching and her head rested on his shoulder…

But that went against everything Temari was. Everything she had taught herself to be. She was tough as stone. This lazy ass sure wasn't going to make her change her outlook on life just because she liked him. Even if they had been dating for a while now. How long has it been? _Almost a year,_ Temari remembered, _the one-year mark is coming up this Thursday._

 _How has it gotten to this point?_ She wondered silently. _To where the thought of wanting physical contact with him as much as possible is actually a semi-reasonable idea?_ It wasn't that long ago, just over a year ago, that she had admitted to herself, deep down, that she did like the Nara that was three years her junior. To say the least…she hadn't quite known how to deal with it.

 _"_ _Is there anything I can do?"_

 _"_ _There's not."_

 _Temari dropped her eyes at Shikamaru's curt reply. "Okay." She muttered, lifelessly. In the next instant, the brief look of sadness on her face changed to anger._

 _It was all he could do to take a breath. He had no room to dodge; before he knew it, Shikamaru was flying. He tumbled down the hall a few times before ending up on his backside in a seated position. The right side of his face swelled up, bright red. Stroking his hot cheek, Shikamaru looked up at an indignant Temari glaring down at him._

 _"_ _I never actually thought I could've misjudged you so badly!" Her angry yell turned into a powerful wind, pushing up against her face._

 _"_ _I-I'm sorry…" The words were unconscious. He unthinkingly took on the persona of his father stumbling home in the morning, only to get yelled at by his mother in the entryway._

 _Taking long strides, Temari passed by Shikamaru and disappeared, her eyes slightly damp._

And yet here she was today. Sitting across from him on an actual date, knowing that the weird way he made her feel wasn't so weird after all. He had validated the feelings that she hadn't even known what meant – or that were even _okay_ for a kunoichi like her to be feeling – by showing that he had them too. Sort of like when a kid think's their weird because they wear glasses, but then see other kids wearing them as well.

She owes him much more thanks than she has given him. With the kindness, patience, and flexibility he has shown her with how she wants their relationship to physically be, she knows he deserves more than the smart ass remarks and cold stares she gives him. But she wasn't sure what else she could do.

She refuses to do more because of her principals, but can't do any less than she is.

She wants to do more because he deserves _at the very least_ the privilege to hold her hand, but she forces herself to do much less than that.

So what was she supposed to do?

She hadn't realized how caught up in her own thoughts she had been until Shikamaru's hits her shoulder, jolting her back into reality; back into the restaurant and into their date. She shot him a hard glare. "Don't hit me, Nara."

"Hey, hey. Chill out." He said, putting his hands up in front of him. "You were seriously zooming out. Just trying to bring you back to reality."

"Hmph."

"Hey," he continued, "what were you thinking about that required such a deep level of thought in the middle of the afternoon on our break?"

She almost smirked at his phrasing of, 'on our break', instead of, 'on our date'. Just another way he was trying to be courteous of her 'remaining a secret' policy. She almost sighed. She almost smacked him in the face. She almost grabbed his face and made out with him then and there. She almost did a lot of things. But what she _actually_ did, was probably not the best solution.

"I don't know," was how she began, then continued without thinking, "Maybe if you resurrect Inoichi you can get inside my head and figure it out."

That was more than enough to silence him. Both of them ate their food in silence. But not their usual comfortable silence, but a thick awkward one. When they finished, Shikamaru paid the bill and walked out. He didn't say a word to Temari as he walked past her. She followed him out of the restaurant and back to where they had been working before.

Now when they worked, it wasn't lighthearted and full of companionship. Instead, it was like back when they were first made to work on the Chunin exams together. Forced and necessary. They made got the job done quick and efficiently not because they were charismic or enjoyed being together, but because that was what would please Lord Sixth wand what would get them separated quicker.

As soon as they finished the paperwork that Gaara had assigned her to help Shikamaru with (which he hadn't actually needed any help with. It was just as excuse to allow her sometime in the Hidden Leaf with him), she stood up. She pushed in her chair and gave an awkward goodbye. A part of her wanted to stay; wanted to work this out with Shikamaru. A part of her was screaming that she couldn't leave without him.

They had fought before, of course. She was her bossy self and Shikamaru was lazy, smart, and determined. Of course they didn't agree on everything. But it had always worked itself out within the course of the day. However, as the time drew close to midnight, it didn't look as if it would be that way this time. The tension was still as thick as it had been on their date, and Shikamaru seemed to less…angry? She couldn't tell.

She knew what this was, deep down. They both knew what would happen if she left the room now without sitting back down and being soft for once and talking things out with him. But she couldn't allow herself to do that. She wasn't the girl of her family. She was the warrior; the brute; the toughest kunoichi of them all. She lived by certain standards, and she wasn't willing to let them go.

But as she walked out of the office space, exchanging one last goodbye, the realization hit her as soon as she reached the street.

She wasn't willing to let her morals and standards go…

But she was willing to let go of Shikamaru…

* * *

Four days. Temari manages to hold herself together for four days; the time it takes her to pack up her things and make it back to Suna. She passes through the gates, taking another deep breath. Her hope is for it to give her one last burst of strength. She doesn't bother with going to her house first, and instead goes straight to Gaara. He smiles when she walks in.

"Welcome back." He greeted. "I presume it went well?"

Maybe it was because she was back in Suna. Maybe it was because she was in the comfort of the Kazekage's office. Maybe it was hearing her brother's calming voice. She didn't know. All she knew was that something clenched in her chest, making it suddenly hard to breathe. She felt her eyes get slightly wet.

His expression fell. "Please tell me you got more sand in your eye."

"I'm fine, Gaara." She said, trying to make it sound as convincing as she could. "The mission went fine. The work was done within less than twenty-four hours."

He nodded and she turned to leave. From behind her, she heard her brother ask: "What else happened while you were in Konoha?" She ignored the question and went straight to her house. She shut the door and as soon as it was closed behind her, she collapsed – barely making it to the couch as she fell. Her things were still packed, abandoned by the entrance.

She began crying.

But not just crying, but sobbing. The kind of sobbing where you're gasping for breath but the tears fall silently. It was the worst kind. It made no sense. Sure, her and Shikamaru had a falling out. Not every couple was made to last and she knew that. But she was _Temari of the Sand_. Why was she acting like this, even if it was in the privacy of her own home?

The knock that came from her front door about an hour later managed to give her a low-grade heart attack. She wiped her face as dry as she could get it and trusted fate that it wasn't as splotchy as it probably was. She opened the door, putting on her most annoyed expression. It was her brothers. "What in the world do you two want?"

"To make sure that you were okay." Gaara replied. "You look very shaken; very unlike yourself. Did something happen with Shi-"

She slammed the door in his face before he could finish saying the Leaf shinobi's name. Next person who came to the door would get the full force of her luggage to their head. She threw herself back on her couch, Shikamaru's face burnt into the back of her eyelids. Whenever she shut her eyes, there he was. Him and his perfect face and lazy eyes and relaxed, handsome smile and…

She felt sick to her stomach and her head was pounding. The same thought kept being repeated unconsciously in her mind. _This isn't real. This isn't happening._ She was in denial – denial about a situation that she caused. Her entire world felt like it was crashing in around her. It had been less than a week and she was being driven mad with the thought of Shikamaru being mad at her.

She thought about Ino and Choji trying to ask him what happened – they both knew full-well that Temari stalled in the Leaf as long as she could before going back to the Hidden Sand. She imagined him saying all those awful things. The hurt, the anger… She couldn't handle the thoughts. She couldn't handle him not…

…

…Not what?

 _Not being on speaking terms with her._

 _Not wanting to spend time with her._

 _Not wanting to be in her life anymore._

 _Not being her friend anymore._

 _Not being her boyfriend anymore._

 _Not caring about her anymore._

 _Not wanting to hold her hand anymore._

 _Not wanting to hug her anymore._

 _Not wanting to kiss her anymore._

 _Not loving her anymore._

 _Loving?_

Temari stopped her crying. Her entire train of thought, her entire barrage of emotions, coming to a halt with that one thought; with that one word. _Love._ Where had that word come from? It had appeared with ease in her mind. It hadn't second guessed itself without Temari being extra cautious about every move she made, every word she said, and every thought she had.

And now that it was there, it wouldn't leave. The word bounced around the inside of her skull, giving her a worse headache. _Love. Love. Love._ The four-letter word teased her and mocked her; making her think about it whether she wanted to or not. For once, her mind was making her sort out what she felt. _Probably because if I didn't, I would actually go mad._

It wasn't like a cannonball to her stomach like she always thought it would be. She always thought it would be a sudden, painful realization that would take her breath away and make her a weakling. No… No this was nothing like that. This was much, much worse.

It was like drowning. You sunk further and further into the water, not being able to breath the entire way, but still believing that if you could _just_ get your head above the water, then it would stop. But then your vision gets altered, and your lungs start burning like you had swallowed a lit match. It slowly dawned on you that in reality, you can't get out. You aren't going to be saved. You don't stand a chance. You never did.

Realizing this was the exact same way. It came over her slowly, surrounding her and compacting and compression her lungs and chest. Her stomach churned, both with nerves and with the denial that it was happening. Her vision got blurry and sobs racked her body once more, making her wrap her arms around her torso. She tried to deny it as much as she could.

She made up excuses and tried swimming back up to the top. If she could _just_ think this through, find an explanation or a way to ignore it; if she could find the backdoor than everything would be fine. Then it was slowly solidified – carved like cement – into her brain as a fact. She couldn't make it go away no matter how hard she tried.

No one was going to come and make it go away. No one was going to be able to distract her from it any longer. She was out of excuses to give herself. She was out of jobs and out of luck. Looking back, she realized she didn't really have a choice in the matter. She never did. It was going to happen and she couldn't have prevented it in any way, even if she tried her hardest.

 _I'm in love with Shikamaru._

* * *

He sighed, lying his head down on the table. He heard the clatter of plates as his mother picked up the rest of the breakfast. "It was great, Mom. Thanks."

"Anytime sweetie." She said, kissing his forehead. "You know I've always loved cooking for you, bedbug."

"Yeah."

 _Bedbug._

The nickname didn't really fit anymore. It had been given to him when he was very little. As soon as it had become apparent that he had inherited his father's love of sleep, his mother began calling him her 'bedbug'. It was just as endearing as it was creepy. He hadn't really cared about it either way as a kid. After all, everyone had their childhood nicknames.

But as he got older, it made him feel closer and closer to his mother. Especially after the Great War ended. With his father gone, his mother was a complete mess. She wasn't herself anymore. Even to this day she wasn't quite the same as she had been when Shikaku was around.

Shikamaru hadn't been himself either, but he had been there for his mother. It was just another way that somebody was counting on him. The only reason she had made it through that time was because she had her little bedbug with her. For a while, she never called him by his real name. She only called Shikamaru 'bedbug', and he always let her; he never corrected her until she had started using his real name again by herself.

Somehow Shikamaru had pulled himself out of the dark hole that his father's death had thrown him into. He has no idea how he did it. He thought nothing could ever hurt more than when Asuma died, but Shikaku's death had thrown Shikamaru through such a loop that he was still recovering. Just bringing up his father or Uncle Inoichi was enough to end that conversation and have Shikamaru go into a funk for a couple days.

Which brought his erratic train-of-thought back to his current funk. His mother could always tell when he was in one, and would do her damnedest to make him feel better. But this one had lasted more than one or two days. This has been going on for nearly a week.

He didn't really eat all that much of his mother's cooking anymore. He didn't eat much to begin with, which was part of why he was wiry. But he always managed to give his mother's cooking special attention. But now he ate maybe half of what he was served, as opposed to asking for seconds at every meal.

But more than anything, he felt exhausted. He was used to napping a lot. Whenever he had a particularly stressful day or knew one was a head, he would treat himself to a nap. In his free-time, he spent most of it lying on the grass, watching the clouds, dozing. He had picked up the habit from his father, and no one had been able to break him of it. Shikamaru was always well-rested.

But right now, he felt nothing but exhausted. He felt like he could sleep for days. He was dragging himself around at this point; each of his limbs felt like they weighted a million pounds. He was used to feeling sleeping, but this level of fatigue was not one that he has ever reached during a week when he had no missions. He felt like he would collapse at any moment, but he somehow managed to keep going. This was the key factor that was making everyone more than worried about him.

Shikamaru couldn't sleep.

Ino and Choji have already found the lack of naps suspicious, and if they knew that he got maybe two hours of sleep a night at the most, they would never let it go. His mother was well aware of his newfound insomnia, but had enough respect for the young adult not to press him for information. Shikamaru was glad for that. He didn't even understand it himself. He certainly didn't want to discuss it with anyone else.

He picked his head up off the table. Today was the first day in almost a week that he had a mission. He had no idea why he had gotten so much time off, but he had a guess. His mother might have enough manners to not bring up his concerning behavior around him, but he wouldn't be surprised if she had told Kakashi. He sighed. _How troublesome._

He said goodbye to his mother and walked out of his house. He needed to make his way over to the Hokage office. The other side of Konoha never seemed further away. Another sigh and he was dragging himself down the street, feet scuffling on the ground. He was in no condition for a mission. Not only could he barely walk, but his reflexes were worse than that of a toddler. If he went on a mission, there's a good chance he'll get killed.

He knocked on the door before he entered. Kakashi looked up at him. The man looked a million more times tire than Shikamaru, which the Nara knew was a lie. The Hokage had always looked like he would fall asleep at any point in time. His signature look was his lazy eyes. But he had proved himself to be very powerful when he needed to be. That was why he was Hokage.

Silently, he slipped a piece of paper forward. Shikamaru picked it up and read it. He blinked. Then he read it again. "Is this my mission?" Kakashi nodded. "But this looks like it should be given to Genin."

"Well, I think you need to clear your head." Kakashi said bluntly. "It would be suicide if you went on anything higher than a C-rank. Am I right?"

Sigh. "Yes, sir."

"Good." He said. Shikamaru began walking out. He was about to turn the corner around the door but heard from behind him, "You can bring Ino and Choji with you."

As he walked, he looked at his shoes, houses, other people, the clouds… Pretty much anything to distract his mind. Anything to stop him from thinking about _her_. He heard snippets of other's conversations; counted the number of steps he took and noticed how worn his shoes were becoming; made mental comments about how other people decorated their houses; tried to find shapes in the clouds and watched how they moved in the wind.

 _Wind._

 _Temari._

He closed his eyes and pushed her name out of his head again. He quickly found Ino and Choji sitting together outside a café. Of course he hated been invited. The distance between all three of them had scared him a year back, but now the scary thought was the distance between those two and _him_. He forced a smile as he walked up to them. "Hey."

Ino smiled. "Hey! You feeling better?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, not understanding what she meant. "I haven't been sick. Maybe you're thinking of someone else."

Choji shrugged, momentarily looking up from his meal. "We were told that you were sick."

 _So that's the rumor that's been spread around the village about my absence._ He hasn't left his house since the incident, so it was no surprise that rumors would spread. He felt an odd sense of relief when he heard the rumor was him being sick. In their line of work, he thought the first rumor that would be spread was his death or him going MIA.

"I haven't been." He said again. "But Kakashi gave us a mission. You guys up for it, or are you too busy on a date?"

Ino's face turned beat red in anger and Choji laughed, understanding the joke. Shikamaru knew full well that both Ino and Choji were dating people, but it was still much more fun for him to pick on them. Ino had managed to get Sai to go out with her – a conversation that Shikamaru had been meaning to have since Naruto's wedding – and Choji was dating Karui. No one, _no_ one, in the village could figure that one out.

Avoiding Ino's slap, he handed them the paper. They read it over, scrunching up their faces. "Ew."

Choji nodded. "I agree, Ino. This is…"

"Insulting?" Shikamaru guessed. They looked back up at him. "Yeah, I know. I already talked to Kakashi about the difficulty level of the mission. He wouldn't give us anything more difficult."

Ino snatched the piece of paper and stood up. "Well then, let's just do it and get it over with." The two boys nodded.

The three of them began walking away, toward the front gate of the village. It was an easy mission and Shikamaru assumed it'd take maybe forty-five minutes, tops. There was no reason to pack anything or mentally prepare themselves. They were literally just getting some rebellious kid out of some treehouse or shed or something that he had stupidly locked himself in.

They were almost to the gate when Shikamaru noticed everything getting darker, a painful pounding in his head. The other two members of Ino-Shika-Cho didn't seem to notice anything off, however, and Shikamaru's brain brushed it off and continued walking. Only seconds later did he feel his knees buckle. He lost consciousness before he even hit the ground.

* * *

Bad. That was the shape that Shikamaru was in. Sakura sighed as she walked through the hallways of the hospital. Someone would have to contact his mother, but immediate attention needed to be payed to Shikamaru. She had no idea how it had gotten to the point that it had. What had he been doing? Running around full-speed non-stop for a month?

She gathered up as many free nurses and doctors as she could, giving them a brief explanation of the situation. They rushed into his hospital room and started pushing chakra into him while Sakura began testing his different reflexes to see if his brain was still responding.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she saw he didn't respond to her hitting just below his kneecap. None of the tests were working and Sakura had to push down tears. She's been a medic for years, so she wasn't a newbie to difficult cases. She's had her share of lost patients. She's learned that you can't save everybody. It was the sad part of being a medic ninja; the hardest part.

The absolute worst thing, however, was when one of your friend's was in critical condition. She hated being responsible for her friend's lives when they were so close to the brink of death. Images from the war came flooding back into her mind. She had literally had to _pump Naruto's heart for him._ It was one of the most terrifying thing's she's ever had to do. She hated it.

And now, here was another instance of a dying friend. Sure, she was much closer to Naruto than she was Shikamaru, but that didn't mean that they weren't friends and that she didn't care about his well-being. She tried in desperation to make his body start functioning again. What had this man done to himself? _Shikamaru…_

For a genius, Sakura found herself questioning the younger boy's intelligence quite often. Whatever he had done, it must have been unbelievably stupid. A tear slipped down her cheek as one of the nurses pumping chakra into Shikamaru passed out. She was a newer part of the staff, no older than fourteen or fifteen by the looks of her. There was a good chance that this was her first serious case. Sakura didn't know if she passed out from the pressure or because she gave too much chakra.

She heard a loud _SMASH_. Sakura spared a second to look at the door. Choji stood there, having body-smashed the door over. Ino was behind him. The door to Shikamaru's hospital room had been locked and a red light had been turned on above it. No one was supposed to enter. But Choji and Ino had messed that up entirely.

"Leave!" Sakura yelled, not taking her eyes off of the machines connected to the young Nara. Ino and Choji responded by walking closer. "Get out, we're busy!"

"We want to help!" Ino yelled back at her. Neither girl knew why they were yelling. Other than them, the only noise in the room was the mumbling between staff and the machines. "He's our _best friend._ We're Ino-Shika-Cho! I swear, Forehead, if you don't-"

Sakura stuck up her hand to quiet the blonde. "If you want to help, go inform his mother of the situation."

Ino nodded and ran off. Choji lingered for a moment before saying, "You better save him. He better not die."

Sakura took in a deep breath before returning her complete focus to the boy in front of her. _Stabilize, damn you…_

* * *

He barely suppressed a chuckle as he ate his sandwich. Where the heck did the humorous side of her come from? "Smart ass."

"Lazy ass."

A small smile worked its way onto his face. There was just something away the way they talked, insulting each other without actually making it insulting. He enjoyed the teasing, even if it took a lot of effort. More than anything, he enjoyed spending time with her.

Time flew by when they hung out. She'd arrive in the village in the morning, and the next thing he knew, it would be five in the evening. Entire days would fly by when she spent a week in the village on her 'mission', and he wouldn't take a single nap during that week. It was the only time he didn't, and he was sure that everybody in the village and their uncle noticed it.

"You have a large mouth," he said, "but do you have that bite to back up the bark?"

The most frustrating part of hanging out with her was the distance that she kept from him. At first, he thought it was because of something he was doing. Girls were weird that way. However, when he asked about it, she had told her it had nothing to do with him. It was a lifestyle choice by her. He hadn't pushed anything since then for fear of losing her if he did.

"Nope. The fan I carry around is just for show." She replied, a victorious smirk adorning her perfect face. Sometimes, times like these, he would catch her when her eyes weren't cold as ice and hard as stone. These were his favorite moments.

He didn't know when he became so soft around girls. _No_ , he thought, _that's a lie._ He wasn't like this around all girls. Not all girls could make him skip naps; make him enjoy their presence more than his sleep. _Nope. It's not all girls. It's just Temari._

Matter of fact, he wasn't sure when he started being so mushy around Temari. Something, one day, after everything with Gengo, had possessed him to ask her out. At the time, all he had known was that he wanted to spend more time with her. For the first time, he made a big, risky decision without thinking about it first. It had just sort of happened unconsciously.

"I could so without the sass." He told her, looking up at the clouds above.

But, the more that they hung out, the more time he wanted to spend with her. He wanted to be close to her. As stupid and cliché as it sounded, he wanted to hold her; to kiss her. But neither was acceptable, so he just kept his distance. Though, one night he found he was having trouble sleeping. He laid there in his bed, thinking about her. Thinking about everything he felt, which wasn't something he normally thought about. There was only one logical solution that he came up with.

 _I'm in love with a Sand Sibling._ He had thought. _I'm in love with Temari._

And having fallen in love with such a troublesome woman didn't bother him as much as he had always thought it would. Coming to terms with the fact that it didn't bother him, however, was a slow process. It took about a month. They never got physically closer, and he felt that it was a major restraint. A ball and chain attached to his ankle.

He tried to ignore it to the best of his ability. He loved her, and she was in his life. She came to the Leaf as often as she could – much to the annoyance of her brothers. That was enough for him. As cold and hard as she was, every once and again he'd catch her staring at him, her eyes soft and full of some sort of emotion. Or he'd see her smile at something; or see how her face lit up when she would brag about her younger brothers.

And most of the time, it really did feel like she was three years older than him.

He was taller and smarter, but her age was certainly something she was proud of. At twenty-three, she hardly ever let Shikamaru forget that she was older. She's constantly talk down to him like he was a little kid, but there was no malice in it nowadays. Just teasing. And the fact that he was the same age as her youngest brother was a running gag between them that she would not let go of until she died.

But Shikamaru was happy.

 _Happy_.

That was something that he hasn't truly been since his father died – and if we're being picky – since Asuma died. The happiness that he felt was the kind that felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. It almost hurt, but you didn't mind because it was warm and swirly and there was nothing that could match it. Well, except the love. Love was a new emotion to Shikamaru as well.

But there was nothing that could compare for what he felt for Temari.

And none of this was said out loud, of course. His girlfriend was Temari. If you even _tried_ to bring up anything emotional, she'd blow you so far away, it'd take days to get back. No, talking to her was certainly out of the question. And because she wanted to keep the relationship a secret (another frustrating condition that he agreed to because he didn't want to lose her) he couldn't even go to Ino or Choji about it.

She had thought about it, he knew. When they were looking for a wedding gift for Naruto and Hinata, Shikamaru had decided to rent them a room in and Inn for their honeymoon. It was a good idea, but he wasn't qualified in any way to do it by himself, so he had brought Temari. One misunderstanding and miscommunication had led to another and, humorously, she ended up with sex on her mind that day.

But he ignored everything she had asked of him, doing it all. He didn't want to lose her. He _couldn't_ lose her. He wished he was dead when Asuma had died, and he barely kept himself going after Shikaku died. He _could not_ lose Temari. He refused to think about if she died, but if she left him – broke off the relationship and stopped coming to the Leaf – he didn't know what he would do with himself.

 _Love is such a drag._

Everyone he loved left him. Asuma and Shikaku died. Ino-Shika-Cho had a growing distance between them. The only two constants in his life were his mother and Temari, and he intended to keep his two loves with him and alive even if it cost him his life one day. His mother, of course, had picked up on their relationship and had paraphrased that herself. She liked Temari, much to Shikamaru's relief.

 _A restaurant. Eating. It was a date._

"Huh?" He said out loud. He didn't know where that thought had come from.

 _Beehive hair. Gross. Middle-age lady._

He could see her clear in his mind. A waitress that he had never met

 _Wooden. Old. Sort of western themed._

Suddenly, he could see the restaurant around him. It was like he was there, even though he had never seen the place before.

 _Staring. Her eyes. They have that beautiful look in them._

He saw Temari sitting in front of him. She was wearing a different outfit than she was before.

 _Got her attention. Laugh. Ask about it._

He watched as his arm hit her shoulder, though he hadn't done that. His lips moved on their own as well. "Hey, hey. Chill out." He said, putting his hands up in front of him. "You were seriously zooming out. Just trying to bring you back to reality."

 _Surprise. Panic. Annoyance._

"Hmph." She pouted slightly, getting defensive. He couldn't imagine why. Part of him found it funny, and the other part of him still had no idea how he got there.

 _Smile. She's beautiful. Ask about her zoning._

"Hey," he continued, "what were you thinking about that required such a deep level of thought in the middle of the afternoon on our break?"

 _Anger. We made her mad. Incoming sass._

"I don't know," was how she began, then continued without thinking, "Maybe if you resurrect Inoichi you can get inside my head and figure it out."

 _She said that. She actually said that. Too far._

Both Shikamaru's found themselves rendered speechless. One angry that she said that, the pain in his heart almost too much to bear. The other in shock that she would say that. She knew how hurt he has been about that, hadn't she?

 _Work. Let's finish. Quickly._

The scenery around him changed again. Now he was in some office space. He was sitting at a desk with papers in front of him, the ink on which was all blurry and smudged. Temari was next to him. The other Shikamaru was tired mad. He was just confused.

 _There. Done. Look at her._

He saw Temari get up to leave, grabbing the jacket that sat on the back of her chair. The other Shikamaru had a sudden pang of emotion so strong, he could feel it too.

 _Goodbye. She's turning around. Say something._

She looked at him. She looked at him, avoiding his eye contact. Both Shikamaru's felt a desperation; a fear. The other one didn't show one hint of it.

 _STOP. STOP. STOP._

Temari turned and walked out, saying goodbye again. As soon as she was gone, a tear slipped down Shikamaru's face. Both of them felt sadness. Both felt unbelievable devastation. Both felt broken. Both felt that the world was ending. Both became one, and one wanted to die. Right there. Right then.

LINE

"Shikamaru."

The voice was soft.

"Shikamaru, hey."

He didn't want to open his eyes.

"Hey, if you're there at all…hang in there. Okay?"

Shikamaru heard Sakura's footsteps leave. He slowly opened his eyes, needing to adjust the light. He looked around him, taking in his surroundings. _Is this the…hospital?_ He slowly sat up, barely able to make it into a sitting position. His muscles felt so weak. He scanned his surroundings again. Yup, he was certainly in the hospital.

Not even five minutes later, Ino and Choji ran in. He looked in their direction. "Hey…why am I in the hospital?"

"Why would you do that to yourself?" Ino screamed at him, followed by, "You realize you almost _died_. Right?"

He shook his head. "People haven't even told me why I'm here, much less what shape I arrived in. All I remember is heading out on a mission and then…" He shook his head again, this time to clear his thoughts. "I have no idea what I 'did to myself'. Did something happen on the mission?"

"We never got to do the mission." Ino said. "Well, _you_ never got to do the mission. Choji and I still completed it."

"You passes out before you even made it out the front gates." Choji told him.

Shikamaru blinked once. Twice. Three times before sighing. "And now I'm stuck here? What a drag." He looked back at his friends. "So why did I pass out?"

"Chakra exhaustion."

All thee looked over at the door where their pinkette friend stood. "Or, at least, something akin to it."

"How?" Shikamaru asked. "I haven't been in a battle in weeks."

Sakura shrugged. "I don't know. I was asking myself the same question when I was working on you. How _did_ you manage to almost get yourself killed when I know for a fact that you haven't had any difficult missions in a while?" She paused and looked at Ino, then back at Shikamaru. "The fact that you weren't sleeping…"

"What?" He almost exclaimed. He managed to keep himself sound half calm when about the fact that Sakura knew about his insomnia. "How did you know I've been not napping all-"

"Napping?" Sakura asked, her accusatory tone full of anger. "You think you almost died because you skipped your precious little _naps_?"

Shikamaru nodded. "What else could you-"

"At all, Shikamaru." She said. "You haven't been sleeping _at all_."

Ino and Choji looked at Shikamaru. Ino's mouth was wide open. "So…what your mother said…it's true…"

"Mom?" Shikamaru asked. "When did you-"

"After you were brought in here on the brink of death, I sent Ino and Choji to let your mother know of what happened to you. Apparently, you almost dying is where she draws the line on keeping your secrets." She took a breath, then continued her lecture. "She told us all about your 'diet' and how you haven't slept in almost an entire week, but did twice the number of chores you normally do."

Shikamaru remained silent. What else was he supposed to do?

"Did you really think that treating your body like that would have anything but a negative outcome?" She asked, clenching and unclenching her fists, like she was dying to punch something – which she probably was. "Now answer me this: What in the world was going through your mind when you decided to not sleep at all?"

Shikamaru shrugged, not wanting to give a truthful answer. "I don't know."

Sakura's glare could kill, but she just huffed and stormed out of the room. Ino and Choji followed her out. The next to enter was later that afternoon. Surprisingly, it was Sai. "Hey dude." Shikamaru greeted.

Sai nodded, looking uncomfortable. "Hello Shikamaru."

"Whatcha doin' here?" He asked, his speech slurred. They've been pumping in drugs to try and get him to feel drowsy and go to sleep. All they did, however, was impair his speech and mobile skills. And his brain did feel fuzzy. "Don't you have better things do than hang out with the injured?"

"Ino's been very worried about you." The older man said. Right to the point. Yup, that's certainly Sai for you. "She's been talking nonstop about you. I thought I'd come see for myself what all the fuss was about."

"Hm." Shikamaru laughed. "She always overreacts about everything. It used to be Sasuke and now it's me. I swear, you better take her hawk eyes off me every now and then."

"Uhh…" The pale man replied. A small nervous sweat could be seen on his face. Shikamaru couldn't help but chuckle a little at how only Ino could manage to unnerve the always-stoic Sai. It was funny to him, how women can even get to someone like Sai; someone who everyone thought had no emotions and certainly no hormones. People really can change.

"Anywho…" Shikamaru continued, "I'm fine. You should go back to whatever it is you do when you aren't on a mission."

"You don't sleep." He continued, ignoring Shikamaru's request for him to leave. Shikamaru sighed. _Here we go again._ "Why don't you sleep? The entire time I've known you, have of it was spent seeing you sleep."

 _What in the world was going through your mind when you decided not to sleep at all?_

 _Why don't you sleep?_

People kept asking questions, much to Shikamaru's annoyance. Wasn't it obvious that he didn't want to talk about it? He opened his mouth to provide the same lazy answer that he always did, but stopped when nothing came out of his mouth. Why wasn't he talking?

The dream that he had while he was unconscious suddenly came back to him. The happiness and the love that he felt filled his being, giving him more energy than he's had for weeks. It felt like some dam had broken as the emotion flowed through his veins like a liquid. It put a smile on his still open mouth. He didn't even stop to think about how stupid he looked.

Then, the end of the dream hit him. That day with Temari, the one date that had gone horribly wrong. The smile faded, but his mouth never closed. He felt a tightening in his chest, a pinching pain near the center. He felt water begin to gloss his eyes over. None of this registered in his mind, however. All he could think of was the images of Temari walking out that day, replaying over and over again in his head.

He felt his breath come in small bursts, not realizing they were silent sobs. He felt the guilt from that day that had replaced his anger as soon as she turned her back flow through him, tainting the other emotion that was there previously. He forgot he was in the hospital. For that moment, he was back in the office space that they had chosen to do the mundane task they had been assigned in.

"Shikamaru!"

The yell broke him out of his daze. He slowly moved his head toward the person who had screamed. It had been Sai. They looked at each other, Shikamaru's face frozen. It registered in his mind, finally, what he looked like. His mouth and eyes were wide open, his eyes glazed over with tears. The salty liquid had already fallen down his cheeks and he hadn't noticed it.

"Shikamaru, what's wrong?" Sai asked, clearly very uncomfortable but also very worried. The poor guy probably felt bad himself, knowing enough that Shikamaru was feeling bad, but not knowing how to help at all. Shikamaru shakily shrugged his shoulders. "I'll go get Sakura."

Sai turned and began to run out the door. He stopped when Shikamaru yelled, "No!"

He turned and looked back at the Nara. "Do you not need help?"

Shikamaru shook his head, swallowing the ever-growing lump in his throat. It was painful. "No. I-I'm fine."

Between his shaky, uneven voice that had four different pitches in just those three words, and his clearly-distressed face, Shikamaru knew that Sai wouldn't be leaving that easily. The pictures never stopped flying through his head. The images kept taunting him, making him relive it over and over again. "No!"

Sai cocked his head to the side slightly. "No what?"

Shikamaru found himself talking, responding to the images in his mind even though a part of him knew they weren't real. "Don't leave! Not you too!"

"Shikamaru?"

"Please! I love you! Don't leave me! Please don't leave me!"

Sai gave him a hard slap across the face before running out the door and down the hallway, most likely to fetch Sakura. Maybe five minutes later, Ino ran in. She rushed over to Shikamaru's bed, bent down, and roughly pulled him into a hug. "Oh my god! Shikamaru, what's wrong!"

Shikamaru shrugged again, not trusting himself to talk. Ino finally let go and looked him right in the eye, which only made them tear up more. They were filled with concern; concern for him. He couldn't tell her, though. That would be admitting that him and Temari had been a couple, which would be breaking the promise he had made to her almost a year ago. They may not be together anymore, but Shikamaru wasn't going to be one of _those_ guys.

He felt even worse because he couldn't tell his panicked friend what was wrong. He looked to Sai for help, but not getting anything but a blank stare. _God damn, Sai. I'll have to have Naruto help you on that one. It's creepy._ Not seeing any other option, Shikamaru tried to reassure her. He focused on making his voice sound even. "I'm fine."

"No. You. Are. Not." Ino told him, hugging him again. Shikamaru tried breaking free, throwing his arms around. He managed to hit Ino, causing her to let go of him. For a moment, he panicked, his mind throwing off explosives everywhere. When he finally calmed himself down, he located where she ended up and felt even more guilt than he had before.

He saw her looking terrified against the wall with Sai standing next to her, arms around her. For a moment, his crying ceased as Temari slipped his mind and he focused on Ino. "Ino, all I did was accidently hit you. There's no reason to look so terrified."

She shook her head. She looked up at Sai and he nodded, confirming something unspoken. She looked back at Shikamaru. "When you smacked me…your hand was filled with chakra. Had it hit the wrong spot…"

 _I almost accidentally killed Ino._

"It's okay." Ino assured him. "It's probably just because your sleep deprived. Your decisions aren't necessarily…thought out."

 _Maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived, and maybe it's because of the drugs that are now trying to knock me out._

At some point during the day, they had changed what the machine was pumping into Shikamaru's blood system. Now instead of trying to get him to sleep, they were trying to make him pass out. The world was spinning, and Shikamaru figured that means it was working. _But is passing out and actually sleeping the same thing? Will they have the same effect?_

As he felt the drugs begin to drag him under, he tried to flash Ino a small smile. Maybe that would make her go away and actually believe that he would be fine. Because he would be… Right? The smile never came because, deep down, Shikamaru knew he wouldn't be okay. Not without Temari.

* * *

Temari sighed as she at the spaghetti that she made. She wasn't hungry, but she needed to eat. She was smart. She may have locked herself in her house and shut herself out of the world, but she knew enough to eat normally. She toyed with the food on her plate before putting it in her mouth, trying to get some amusement out of it. She could use some amusement.

 _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

She ignored the knock. She didn't want to answer it. In the past weeks, her brothers have tried pulling her out of her house countless times, but it never worked. She didn't want to leave, and they couldn't make her. It was no different this time as she sat at the table eating her food by herself.

 _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

The knocking continued. She turned her head toward the wooden door.

 _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

It continued without cease. They hadn't been this determined to get her out before. _Either I'm finally getting to them, or something serious is happening._ Not willing to risk the latter, she got up from where she sat and opened her front door for the first time in a week. "Hello?"

Gaara stood on her doorstep, a frown plastered on his face. He looked at her solemnly, not even looking a bit relieved that she had opened the door. He didn't break eye contact when he spoke. "We received a message from Konoha."

"Judging by the look on your face," Temari said, "I'm guessing that it wasn't good news."

He sighed. "When it's from the Leaf, when is it ever good news?" They both managed a small chuckle at the expense of the Hidden Leaf, but the Kazekage was quick to get back to business. "It's a good thing you opened your door."

"Why?"

"Because," he said, the faintest shadow of a smirk on his face, "I would have bust it down if you hadn't."

"Funny." She replied, not at all amused. She just wanted to be alone. She just couldn't laugh, as much as she wanted to. She didn't _want_ to be so upset, but she couldn't help herself. "Is there a point to this? What did the message from Konoha say?"

Gaara's face fell more. "Shikamaru," Temari broke eye contact without realizing it until after she did it, "almost died."

Her mouth opened wide and her eyes did the same. She was _not_ expecting that. She froze up, not knowing what to say or what to think. She must have looked so stupid, but she couldn't bring herself to care. All she could do was stare. Her brain wasn't even thinking. She just stood there. She managed to spit out one question. "What?"

Gaara shrugged. "I don't know all the details. All I was told was that Shikamaru almost died the other day. Kakashi told me because he was one of the few people that had to know about you and Shikamaru being together." He paused. He looked away, staring at something she couldn't see, before looking back at her and continuing. "Did something happen between you two?"

Temari clenched her fist, wanting to deck her little brother. She stopped herself, however, knowing that it wouldn't get her anywhere. It was an innocent question. He had no idea how just mentioning the name could make her head swim. She decided to ignore his question. "Is he going to be okay?"

To her relief, the red-head nodded. "Yes. They said he should be fine if they get him to sleep."

"'Get him to sleep'?" Temari repeated. "You can't stop the guy from sleeping."

"From what I gather," he explained, "he hasn't been sleeping at all. He refuses to talk about it, but something is clearly bothering him very badly."

Temari looked back up at Gaara when he said that. Something had Nara so upset that he couldn't sleep. _Shikamaru couldn't sleep._ That thought alone made her worry go up three notches. She began thinking about anything that had gone wrong in his life lately. A realization hit her and she physically reacted to it, startling her brother a little. _It was me. He's upset about…us._

The first thing she did was smile, causing her brother to jump a little as if she had screamed. She hadn't smiled since she locked herself up in her house. It was the last thing he probably expected her to do. She knew he felt bad, but the fact that he felt upset about _them_ made her heart warm up. _He does still care about me…lazy ass._

"Gaara, I'm-"

"I wouldn't expect anything else." He interrupted her, smiling.

* * *

She ran to Konoha as quickly as she could, not bothering to take any breaks. Three days. Three long days were all she could think about was Shikamaru. The same thoughts kept running through her head. _He almost died and I wasn't with him. He almost died and I never got hold his hand, or kiss him. He almost died…without knowing I love him._

She ran through the gates of Konoha and straight to the hospital without bothering to check in with the Hokage first. She spotted Sakura and ran over to her, grabbing her shoulder and making her jump. "T-Temari?"

The blonde kunoichi nodded and tried to catch her breath enough to speak. "Shik…a…maru…" she began. She was about to continue but Sakura nodded and burst out laughing. Offended, Temari exclaimed, "Hey!"

"S-Sorry." Sakura said, wiping tears from her eyes. "I just should have figured that's why you were here."

She frowned, glaring at the younger woman. "Ha ha, funny. Heard it a million times. Now, just tell me what room he's in before I get mad."

"Okay, chill." Sakura said, the smile never leaving her face. There was so much about her that Temari envied. Her looks, how she wore her heart on her sleeve, her bubbly personality (until she got mad), her superhuman strength on the battlefield _and_ her unparalled skills in medical ninjutsu; it just didn't seem fair. Temari didn't have nearly enough. And don't even get her started on Ino, one of Shikamaru's best friends.

She liked the younger blonde, but she couldn't help but the massive jealousy that emerged whenever Shikamaru would complement her. Ino was beautiful, funny, powerful, lucky, and had known Shikamaru almost her entire life. Not to mention, she was skinny. That was something Temari had always secretly wished for. She knew she wasn't fat – she wasn't one of _those_ girls – but she did have a slight chubbiness that the Konoha kunoichi always seemed to lack.

At first, Temari had refused to admit to herself that it was jealousy. She hadn't even admitted to herself that she had a crush on Shikamaru. Then, after they started dating, the feeling tripled inside of Temari and she quietly told herself that it was jealousy. She had also convinced herself that it was normal, though she wasn't entirely sure. And now that she realized that she was _in love_ with Shikamaru…

"What room." She repeated.

Sakura shook her head. "He's not in here anymore. We let him leave on the condition that he went home and slept. Sorry, you'll have to go to his house and see him." Temari turned to leave, yelling a small 'thank you' over her shoulder, but stopped when Sakura shouted from behind her. She turned to look at the pinkette. "Whatever happened between you two… I hope it all works out."

Temari nodded, then ran out. She rushed through the streets of Konoha, ignoring the people she ran past and the friends who called out to her. She knew where he lived, he'd shown her before as they walked by. She ran up to the front door, hesitating when she got there. He may be upset that they broke up but… _Does he even want to see me right now?_

By the time she made up her mind, it was dark outside. Sucking up her fear, she made a fist and rapped on the door with her knuckles. Her hear pounded in her chest, she could hear the blood in her ears, while she waited for someone to answer. Time slowed to a crawl as she waited. Then, the door opened to reveal his mother. When she saw Temari, her eyes opened a bit wider. She tried to hide her surprise, to no avail. "Temari?"

Temari didn't bother to try and put on a smile. Instead, she got right to the point. There was no reason to let politeness get in between her and Shikamaru, not at this point. "I need to see Shikamaru."

She nodded, stepping aside. She saw in her eyes that she wasn't pleased with Temari's rough, uncouth behavior, but the Sand Sibling couldn't bring herself to care. She got instructions to where Shikamaru's room was and briskly made her way through the hallways. When she got halfway down the hallway, it hit her that she was _in his house_ and on the way _to his room_.

She brushed the thought aside, continuing until she got to the door that led to his room. It was shut. Temari was about to knock on it, a bit nervous, before remembering that he was supposed to be asleep. She didn't want to wake him after he almost died. Even she, deep down, did have a heart. Sighing, she opened the door. Her blood froze in her veins and her heart pounded out of her chest when she walked in.

Shikamaru wasn't asleep.

The exact opposite, actually. He sat at a desk doing what looked like some sort of paperwork. When she walked in, she saw him sitting there looking like a deer in headlights. Obviously, he wasn't expecting anyone to come into his room. For the longest time, they both just stayed there staring at each other. Neither of them knew what to say. Temari felt like she was going to be sick. Shikamaru looked freaked.

At some point, Shikamaru stood up out of his chair. He never broke eye contact with the older kunoichi. A tension filled the air, both of them waiting for the other to say something first. Temari began sweating. She'd never felt this nervous about anything before. _Damn Nara._

But…Shikamaru didn't look angry. There was no trace of bitterness in his face or his body language. Something swelled up within her stomach, bringing tears to her eyes that she quickly blinked away. She broke eye contact, looking around the room, finally taking in her surroundings. It was super organized. _Huh. The laziest guy in Konoha has a super organized room. Go figure._

Her eyes found their way back to his. They hadn't left her face. _I can't do this anymore…_ Temari shook the tension in the room by nodding, hoping that his genius brain understood the message. She was agreeing. They both wanted the same thing at the moment. Some psychic connection was between them, being held together by a shoestring. She nodded once more, making sure he saw her do so.

She gasped and yelped a little when she strode forward and connected his lips to hers. The abruptness of the action startled her, but… _I knew you'd understand, lazy ass._ The tension in the room slowly faded away. The roughness of the kiss surprised her. He lightened up a bit after the initial shock wore off, the kiss becoming gentle. It was like he was afraid he was going to break her if he kissed her too roughly.

Not having any experience with kissing at all, Temari did her best to communicate that she wasn't like Ino or Hinata. Temari was most certainly _not_ some little flower. But she was surprised at her own actions. She was letting him kiss her. She didn't let anyone touch her (save for the hugs she gave her brothers), much less kiss her. This was a big no-no in her book. A part of her felt ashamed at herself; it felt ashamed that she was so weak that she had given in to him.

Every other part of her felt proud.

She had finally let someone in, finally allowed herself to get close to someone for the first time since her mother died. She almost cried just thinking about how much she missed her. Temari had only been three-years-old when Gaara was born, but that also meant that she was the only one of the three that had memories of the woman. Temari quickly tried to brush her mother under the rug for the moment, returning her attention to the first person she'd allowed into her life.

That was the reason she didn't argue when he placed his hands on her waist and pulled her up against him. Her body reacted before her mind could and she grabbed the sides of his face. They hadn't said a word since she entered the room, but she didn't need to. They left everything that needed to be said, to the kiss; they expressed all of their pent-up want for intimacy in the movement of their lips. The amazingness of the situation hit her all at once.

 _I have a boyfriend I'm in love with. He's making out with me. He's holding my waist. How the hell did I end up like this?_

The fact that he almost died recently came back to the forefront of her brain. She pulled away, panting. He looked down at her ( _damn him being taller than me_ ), looking somewhere between confused and highly amused. Suddenly, his look of victory changed to one of fear. "Temari?" He began to let go of her. "I-I'm sor-" She silenced him by grabbed his hands, keeping them where they were, before returning them to his face.

"I love you."

* * *

Shikamaru stood frozen, rooted to the spot. He was 90% sure that he was having one of his hallucinations (not sleeping does that to people, and this wouldn't be his first) and at any moment she was going to disappear and he's going to look like an idiot who was making out with the air. That was the only explanation that made any sense and, in light of recent events, was completely plausible.

He tightened his hold around her waist, trying to make sure she was real. He needed to know that someone had actually come back to him. That he hadn't lost everyone he loved. His hallucinations had never been so vivid, making him conclude that this _had_ to be real. But that brought up twice as many questions as he had before.

She had let him kiss her. He had taken the chance, and it had paid off. He was touching her. Any physical contact had been out of the question before, but now…

And she had said it. He had wanted to admit it for almost the entire year they had been together. But with Temari, getting anywhere near touchy-feely was so off-limits. He had kept it to himself like the introvert that he was, allowing the relationship to run on her terms. As long as he was with her, he honestly couldn't have cared. But now his thoughts had come out of her mouth. She actually said those words to him, heavy with emotion. He smiled, looking, for the first time, like an idiot, doing the only thing his brain could vomit out at the moment.

"I love you too, Tem."

* * *

She crashed her lips against his again, not knowing what else to do. Shikamaru didn't argue. His hands slipped down to her hips and her breath caught in her throat. Today was the first day anyone has ever even touched her at all, much less have their hands on her hips. She tightened her grip on his face, which he took as an invitation. His hands moved to her butt. She couldn't stop the moan that escaped her throat.

Moan?

 _Did she just moan!?_

He grabbed it and another one escaped. She felt more embarrassed than she had in her entire life. She pulled apart again, trying to regain her composure. "Nara, getting feely there ain't 'cha?"

Again, he immediately grew fearful and looked away, "I'm, uh, sorry Temari."

 _What is his deal? Why is he just giving in to me?_ "What the hell?"

He looked back at her, curious about her exclamation. "What do you mean, 'What the hell'? What am I doing wrong now?"

"Acting like a pussy!" She yelled back at him.

He scrunched up his face, turning away from her. "You know what, Temari? I really don't need you being an asshole to me right now. I was actually in the middle of work when you rudely walked into my room."

"Meaning?"

"Leave."

Temari huffed, turning to leave. She stopped in the doorway. She tried to get her legs to move, but they wouldn't listen to her. She looked over her shoulder at Shikamaru. He was sat back down at his desk, pencil already scribbling on the paper. _I can't leave again. I can't let this happen to us again._

She spun around and marched over to Shikamaru, pulling him up out of his chair, kissing him again. It was a quick kiss, but it had definitely startles Shikamaru. "T-Temari?"

"I am _not_ leaving with you angry again." She told him. "Neither of us held ourselves together at all after that, am I correct?"

Shikamaru nodded, a small frown growing on his face. _Probably from the memories._ "Good. So, Nara…" She paused, gulped, and grabbed his butt. Her eyes widened a bit. _He has a nice butt?_ "What are you going to say now?"

The dark-haired man chuckled a bit, then returned his gaze to Temari. He took one of her hands. "Are you not angry about being touched anymore?"

She shrugged, a small smirk on her face. "Depends. I'll flip anyone who dares lay a hand on me…" she suppressed a laugh at the look on his face as he slowly tried to slip his hand away from her. She tightened her grip. " _Except_ ," she continued, "for my brothers and you."

"I'm an exception now?"

"No. Not an exception. Just the love of my god damn life."

* * *

 ** _Get everyone on board and the time flows gently…_**

Does he look like me?

 _The baby was crying languidly, s though he had seen through everything in this world, even though he had only just been born into it._

 _"_ _It's okay. There'll be a time when you realize you don't know anything. You'll make friends who'll head toward that moment with you."_

 _The baby, who of course couldn't understand anything I said, stared at me, opening wide, single-lidded almond eyes – his mother's eyes._

 _"_ _Guess I can't say 'what a drag' or anything anymore."_

 _"_ _You can a bit. Just don't get crazy with it. And before you really stop moving, I'll yank on your cheek and send you flying."_

 _"_ _Oh, yeah, right."_

What should we call him?

 _"_ _What a drag."_


End file.
